


The Wonders Of My World

by brawnysloth



Series: Poe Organa-Solo [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, with a little hint of sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:27:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brawnysloth/pseuds/brawnysloth
Summary: It's been so long since she's spoken in her native tongue in front of another. (Or the one where Han convinces Leia to teach Poe Alderaani)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :) another in the series, this one from Leia's POV. Enjoy xx

Leia sits on the bed in her quarters aboard _Home One_ , a datapad in her lap. She's looking over the outline for her mission to Naboo in a few days time and keeping an eye on Poe, who's toddling around the room with the small, wooden replica of the _Falcon_ that Chewie had carved for him on Endor.

The mission is simple; she's to meet with Queen Soruna about throwing their support behind the establishment of the New Republic. She's not worried about the outcome, she's certain she'll be received warmly and their support will be offered. Naboo had suffered greatly at the hands of the Empire, and her father had told her so much of its people and how he trusted them. Her concern lies with the toddler currently trying to jump onto the bed whilst continuing to fly his makeshift toy.

It's been just over two weeks since he'd come into their care. The first week had been awful; he had sobbed endlessly, calling out for his mother. He'd been unruly and distraught and Leia had understood - even if it had pained her greatly to watch him go through the turmoil – that he did not fully understand at his young age what was going on. The second week had been better and though he still asked for his parents - or on some tough occasions, had called Leia 'mama' - he had calmed down greatly.

However, this will be her first time away from him and she fears it will not bode well for either of them. She's grown so attached to him and he has grown attached to her as well. It's not that he isn't attached to Han too, but there is no denying he's taken to Leia fiercely. She knows it's just because he misses his mother, but it doesn't stop her heart from swelling with joy every time he snuggles close. She isn't sure she'll be able to handle time away from him, even if it is only for a few days. And she’s worried how he will react in her absence. Is it too soon to leave him? she wonders. He’s too young to understand that it will only be for a few days. After everything that’s happened to him, will it only traumatize him more? _Will he think I’ve left him forever?_

A giggle comes from the side of the bed and she glances over to find Poe peeking over the edge. "You sound funny," he says through another giggle. It startles her briefly. She must have been speaking out loud but she's confused by his comment, until- “chee-um,” he says slowly, and though it’s broken from Poe not being used to pronouncing such an intricate word, she recognizes it immediately. She feels the air leave her, and she struggles to breathe as he repeats the word. It echoes in her ears but in it’s proper form- ĉiam, _forever_. And it's been forever since she’s heard Alderaani spoken by another.

"Again," he says, reaching for her. Putting her datapad to the side, she lifts him up into her lap. He nestles into her arms instantly and looks up at her excitedly. “Again!"

She hesitates. It's been so long since she's spoken in her native tongue in front of another. She hasn't even spoken it in front of Han before. For some time after the destruction of her home world, she hadn't had anyone close to it speak with her. There were a few occasions when she and Rieekan had spoken it together, but the pain it had caused them both had seen such occasions cease happening just months after the Disaster. She had taken to speaking it privately to herself and writing it in her journal to keep the language alive. She was so afraid she would forget it. And yet now, now she isn’t sure she has any right to speak it at all.

Poe grabs gently at her mouth, shaking her from her reverie. He smiles up at her. "Again!"

The door to her quarters slides open and thankfully draws Poe's attention away. Han enters and tosses his bag on the floor just in time to catch Poe, who's stolen from her embrace and launched himself at Han. He holds Poe awkwardly, hands under the boy's arms and at a slight arm's length away from his body. The adjustment has been hard on him; she wouldn't go as far as to say it's been as hard as it has been for Poe, but there's no denying Han Solo is beyond out of his element and terrified around the clock.

"Uh hey there, pal," he says to Poe with just as much awkwardness. 

"Mama talked funny," Poe says, clawing at the space between himself and Han to indicate he wants to be closer. Han brings him into his side and though it looks more a little more natural, Poe squirms in discomfort.

"No, Poe that's Leia," Han says, and she does her best to contain a flinch. It’s not that she doesn’t understand the need to correct Poe, but she cannot deny that it pains her every time Han does so bluntly. She isn’t sure why. She knows she’s not Poe’s mother, and she has no desire to take that title from Shara. And yet she can’t help but feel it’s a harsh reminder that she has no right to feel so attached to him.

"Mama."

"No," Han says more firmly and he realizes too late that he's made the mistake they've made one too many times in the last few weeks.

Poe's eyes light up with excitement. "No! No no no no no!" He continues shouting the word over and over, glancing between the two of them as if he's waiting for them to join in.

Han glances up at her, a panicked look on his face. Normally she’d leave him to deal with it, wanting – no needing him to adjust to this new role, but she’s tired and shaken from moments ago. She takes a deep breath before calmly calling Poe's name. He stops his shouting and looks over at her.

"Do you want to keep playing with your _Falcon_?" She asks, picking the toy up off the bed and holding it out to him.

"No!"

"Come here honey, let's play with the _Falcon_ ," she tries again.

"No! Talk it again!"

"Talk what again?" Han chimes in.

Poe looks up at him, pointing back to Leia. "Funny sounds."

She can feel his eyes on her but she’s turned away, needing a moment to collect herself. He must sense her discomfort because when she looks back he's setting Poe down and reaching into the overnight bag he'd gone down to the _Falcon_ for. "Hey Poe you hungry?" He's rummaging through the bag and he pulls out a container. "Chewie made your favorite flat-biscuits. You want some?" He's shaking the container at Poe and were she not so frazzled she'd chastise him for it. _He's not an animal, Han. Don't wave food at him like you're giving him a treat._ But he appears to have piqued Poe's interest, and he grabs for them. Han opens the container and takes two out to hand to Poe. He takes them and bites into one, grinning at Han.

"What do you say Poe?" she says.

"Thank you!" he answers before bounding up onto the bed with a boost from Han. He walks across the bed and plops down into her lap again. She pulls him close, placing a kiss to the top of his head. Han follows him, sliding across the bed to lounge across it, his head propped on his hand by her knees. He kisses one, looking up at her. It's clear he's trying to catch her gaze but she doesn't meet his, instead running a free hand through his hair.

"Later," she whispers and she feels him nod in response. 

He lifts up the small, wooden _Falcon_ and inspects it carefully before holding it out to Poe. "Hey pal, tomorrow you can come down to the hangar with me and play on the real _Falcon_ , how does that sound?"

Poe nods excitedly and holds out one of the biscuits to Han. He leans forward and chomps down dramatically, causing Poe to giggle and offer him another bite.

*****

Later, when Poe's tucked into the little cot in the corner Han crawls into bed and wraps an arm around her, pulling her close.

"You wanna talk about?" He mumbles into her hair.

"I spoke Alderaani," she says quietly.

He's quiet for a moment, tracing his finger across her arm. He tugs gently, rolling her over to face him. "I've never heard you speak it before."

"I speak it when I'm by myself sometimes," she says with a shrug. "It's not like there's really anyone to speak it with." She realizes with a wince how flippant she sounds, but it's unfortunately just the truth. There aren't many surviving Alderaanians and barely a handful in the Rebellion.

"There's Rieekan." 

She shrugs again. "We used to speak it from time to time but...” she trails off.

"But it's painful for you," he supplies and she nods. "Did you speak it a lot when you were younger?"

"Sometimes. Basic was the official language, but the aristocracy all learned to speak Alderaani from a young age." She closes her eyes as she feels them welling up. "My mother always spoke it with me."

"And it reminds you of her." She nods again and he wraps his arm around her tighter, placing a kiss to her forehead. "I'm sorry sweetheart."

"I miss her so much," she whispers hoarsely. Her mother had been her confidant, her best friend. Leia had revered her, wanting to make her proud; wanting to be just like her when she’d grown up. She had been everything a loving mother should be, and it’s only now that she’s gone that Leia realizes how fortunate she was to have Breha Organa as her mother. "I'm afraid of what she'd think of me now."

Han lets out a chuckle. "You just overthrew the Empire, sweetheart. I think that exceeds most parents' expectations."

She doesn't respond. That's not what she means. Though her mother knew next to nothing about the Rebellion for her protection, she'd be happy at the Empire's demise. But the new information she'd received from Luke - information she does not believe her mother was privy to - she's not sure how her mother would take that. She feels Han lift his head to look down at her, concerned with her silence

"Wait, you don't mean -?" He leaves the question to hang in the air and she nods. "Ah hells Leia." He rolls them over until he's settled back against the pillows with her above him. He cups her cheeks, thumbs softly wiping away her tears, and waits until she meets his gaze. "Your mother loved you Leia," he says with such conviction, as though he'd witnessed it himself. "And a mother's love doesn't just go away ‘cause of somethin' like that. Least not a good mother's. And from everythin’ you've told me about her, I'd say she was a pretty damn good mother. She'd still love you, ya hear?" 

"But if she knew... _he_ was my father-"

"Anyone can have sex and make a baby," he says bluntly. "But that doesn't make anyone a parent."

"What if I make his mistakes? What if I fall to the dark side?"

"Ain't gonna happen," he says, laughing and she can’t help but feel annoyed at what she perceives as a flippant attitude on such a serious subject.

"You don't know that," she snaps beginning to pull out of his embrace. But he’s quick to pull her back, arms wrapping tightly around her waist as he sits up so that she's settled in his lap.

"I do," he says with a smug grin. "You're too stubborn to let that happen. Sith would have to drag you kickin'n'screamin' over to the dark side." He's laughing again, likely imagining that happening and despite her fears, she finds herself smiling too. He leans forward, capturing her lips with his. Her annoyance is gone as swiftly as it had come and she allows herself to revel in his confidence in her. When he pulls away, his face is somber, the laughter and teasing from before gone in an instant. He reaches up, tracing the place his lips had just been. "Besides," he begins quietly, "after everything you've been through, and you haven't turned yet..." He trails off, choosing instead to lean in for another kiss. 

"I love you," she whispers against his lips.

"So I've heard." The teasing is back in his voice and she rolls her eyes at him before bending down to kiss him again. Her hands slide into his hair as his move around her waist and they hold onto each other tightly. He groans as she opens her lips to his tongue and his hands are making their way around to her chest when there's a noise from across the room. 

They jolt apart and look nervously over at the cot. She can just make out Poe in the dimmed light. He's still asleep, limbs sprawled in varying directions but he's begun to snore softly.

Han huffs in annoyance, falling back onto the pillows and dragging her with him. "You sure he can't sleep in another room somewhere?" he asks. She knows he's not entirely serious but she punches him in the shoulder for the remarks anyway.

She slips off of him and out of the bed and tiptoes across the room. Tucking his arms and legs back under the covers, she moves him gently until he's rolled over. He snuffles softly, and Leia waits with bated breath as he settles into he new position. Thankfully he stays asleep, and when she's satisfied he's no longer snoring, she retreats back to Han and their bunk. She slides back into the welcome warmth of his arms and settles her head into the crook of his neck.

"Can I make a suggestion?" She tilts her head up to meet his eye and nods hesitantly. "Why don't you teach Poe how to speak it?" She eyes him skeptically but he pushes on. “I think it’ll be good for you. Both of you.”

“He thinks it’s funny,” she dismisses, shaking her head. “He’ll just laugh whenever I say something.”

"Sweetheart he's two, he thinks everything is funny. Yesterday he zapped Wedge with the electro-prod, cracked up 'bout it. Poor Wedge was crying he hurt so bad."

She sits up, pulling away from him and she can see clearly from the look on his face he hadn’t meant to let that slip. “He _what_?”

Han holds his hands up defensively. “It was an accident,” he says. “Kid’s quick, I’d put it down for just a second - look Wedge is fine don’ worry. I took him to medical myself.” 

Truthfully, she's not even concerned about Wedge. Sure, she's grateful he's alright and she'll be sure to apologize next time she sees him, as she knows it's likely it never crossed Han's mind to do so. But she's concerned because she's suddenly remembered just how dangerous the _Falcon_ is. 

"That ship is a death trap," she says, turning wide-eyed towards him. "Oh my - Han- he could die on that thing."

"Okay that _thing_ is not as bad as you’re making it sound-"

"- How did we not realize - Han he could die!"

"Sweetheart-"

"There are so many places he could fall into. Things he could touch. I mean there are loose wires everywhere and the tools you just leave lying around I'm surprised it took him this long to get his hands on one of them." She's rambling now, listing off all of the horrifying things that could happen to Poe on board the _Falcon_. How had she not realized how dangerous it was? How was she meant to be a proper parent to Poe when she didn't even recognize something right in front of her? How is he even still _alive_? It's only been two weeks but that's plenty of time for something -

"Whoa," he says and she's jolted out of her musings. He's looking at her, amazed. "So that's what it sounds like huh?" She stares blankly for a moment and he smirks back. "You just said all that out loud sweetheart but it wasn't basic."

It takes her a moment to realize what he means but when she does, she sighs heavily in defeat. Speaking it earlier was a slip up, but this? Twice in one day slipping into it so casually? 

“Teach him,” he says firmly. “Your brain clearly wants you speak it. So speak it to him.” She doesn’t respond. She knows he’s right, but she’s still hesitant. He nudges gently at her thigh until she catches his eye. He’s looking at her like he knows exactly what she’s thinking, and she realizes it’s because he does. “Don’t deny yourself this sweetheart. It’s too important for you to just let go.” 

_Damn this man,_ she thinks. Damn him and how well he knows her. It frightens her sometimes; just how well they are attuned to one another. She wonders if it has anything to do with the Force. Surely it must? But then that wouldn’t really explain Han’s ability. Still, she can’t bring herself to believe it’s like this for everyone else; so easily aware of each other and his or her thoughts and feelings. She’s not sure how to explain it. She doesn’t think he can read her mind and surely knows she can’t read his, but it’s similar. It’s as though they share the same mind, she thinks, like it’s one great space all their own. And they’ve carved out their own private, individual areas, and they meet in the middle to share information before it’s ever been said aloud. It’s deeper and far beyond reading one another.

“Okay,” she says finally. “Okay.”

He nods, satisfied and pulls her back into his embrace. They stay like that for a while, comfortable in the silence and in each other’s arms. She’s listening to his heartbeat, the steady drum beginning to lull her to sleep when he speaks again.

"So," he begins casually, skimming a hand up the back of her thigh, "wanna try again?" 

She’s hesitant, casting a quick glance over to the other side of the quarters. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

"Come on," he says. "If you can be quiet-"

"If I can be quiet?" she hisses but there is no malice in her voice. If it were over a year ago, there would be. She'd be beyond infuriated at his arrogance. But she knows him now; mind, body, and soul; naked and unapologetic. And she loves it - all of it and all of him. She knows what that arrogance is hiding. 

It’s been over a year since Bespin but as he had been in carbonite for most of it, sex is still quite new to her. Therefore her response to sex is still somewhere just beyond shy virgin. Han's however is steadfastly set between Thesolina port whore and over-achieving, Coruscanti housewife. The noises she can drag out of him; they could echo against the walls for hours.

"There's only one loud person in this relationship dear and we both know it's not me."

He growls, hands gripping the back of her thighs as he twists and rolls her beneath him. He's staring down at her, scowling and prepared to say something when she runs her nails along the inseam of his trousers before cupping him. He bites back a moan, eyes closing as he bucks his hips into her touch. When he opens them again, she’s smiling coyly. 

"You were saying?"

“Tomorrow Chewie’s watchin’ ‘im,” he says gruffly. “And then we’ll see who’s louder.”

She laughs quietly, pulling him down for a kiss. With her trip to Naboo looming, she thinks she can agree to that.

*****

Most mornings, Poe is awake before them both and either tries to crawl into bed with them or takes to playing on the floor, waiting for them to wake. But Leia has been up for a while when she hears him begin to stir. Careful not to wake Han, she maneuvers around him and pads softly over to Poe's cot. He's lounged haphazardly, the sheets strewn mostly across the floor and she smiles at the sight. He looks so small and precious, stretching and brushing the sleep out of his eyes and she feels her heart swell with love. She kneels down next to the cot and places a soothing hand atop his chest.

He blinks sleepily up at her and she can feel the nerves begin to set in. She's fought in battles, spied from within the senate, argued with politicians twice her age, and toppled an Empire, but the prospect of teaching Poe her native language feels like the most unsettling thing she's ever done. However, she knows Han is right. Teaching him will help her to continue to heal and it will help to keep the memory of Alderaan alive. She takes a deep breath to calm herself down before she makes the jump.

"Bonan matenon, mia karulo" she whispers, brushing the hair across his forehead. "Ĉu vi bone dormis?"

She's not sure what reaction she expects, but she can't help but feel disappointed when all he does is stare at her.

"Good morning, my darling," she repeats in Basic. "Did you sleep well?" 

He nods, reaching for her and she scoops him up. He immediately cuddles close and she squeezes him to her. She doesn't think she'll ever get enough of him snuggling closer to her. It tugs at a part of her heart undiscovered until a few weeks ago. She had never been around many children on Alderaan and certainly not during the war. And those she had been around on Alderaan she had looked upon with a distant affection; they were adorable, but she’d rather not be left alone with them. The affection she feels for Poe is staggering. He has been in their lives for such a brief amount of time and yet she cannot begin to imagine living life without him close.

She thinks of what her mother used to say to her when she was little. _"You didn't grow under my heart, but in it."_ That is what is happening with Poe, she realizes. She doesn't want to replace Shara by any means and she doesn't foresee a day when Poe considers her his mother and not just his guardian. But day by day he has grown inside her heart and filled her with a love and joy she hadn't truly understood before.

"Funny sounds," he mumbles into her shoulder.

"Do you want to learn what they mean?"

He nods again. She whispers Alderaani to him as she crosses the room back towards the bed. She tells him how excited she is to spend the day with him, how he’s going to spend the night on the _Falcon_ playing games with Chewie, and - because Han can't understand her - she tells him she loves him. Because she does. He may have only been with them for a few weeks but the love Leia feels for this little boy knows no bounds. He repeats it back to her, not knowing what it means but the excitement in his tiny voice overwhelms her. She smiles as she settles down next to Han, Poe nestled close. It'll do for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. Hope to have the next chapter of OYSD up by the end of the week (fingers crossed) xx


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